A catalog of the stuff in my apartment
When it comes to movies, I have always been fine with being told what to think. As a kid, I’d watch squabbling film critics Siskel & Ebert on their syndicated TV series, and I’d be utterly swayed by the simple certitude of their thumb-based pronouncements. In fact, whenever they gave a movie two thumbs up, […]
When I was a kid, my favorite breakfast cereal was Lucky Charms, a blend of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and Irish stereotypes. The cereal’s corporate mascot is a leprechaun named Lucky. In 1980s TV commercials, cartoon children were always in pursuit of the small, green-suited figure so that they might capture his “magically delicious” marshmallow charms: […]
In order to stop the spread of the coronavirus, we’re supposed to wear masks in public now, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The agency announced this recommendation toward the end of last week. You can transmit the virus even when you’re not exhibiting symptoms, and wearing a mask will help […]
Our coffee maker is too small for the coronavirus pandemic. Like much of the rest of the world’s population, my husband, Frank, and I have been on lockdown for three weeks now, following orders to stay in our apartment as much as possible in order to stop the spread of COVID-19. We only go out […]
I started wearing glasses in sixth grade. That was almost 30 years ago. Think of it: three decades of seeing everything in a frame or seeing everything blurred. Those are my options. Of course, sometimes there isn’t an option at all, like when you’re swimming or making out with somebody. Glasses are a no go […]
I heard once that in order to calculate how much water you should be drinking each day, you take your weight in pounds, then divide the number in half, replace the word “pounds” with “ounces,” and there you are. So, for example, since my weight is about 160 pounds, my daily water intake should be […]
For a while, my husband and I had a subscription to one of those meal-kit services that send you at regular intervals a box containing ingredients and a recipe. The ingredients always seemed to be eggplants and the recipes were clearly written by people who are not familiar with the tiny kitchens in New York […]
A few years ago, an editor of the pop-culture site Consequence of Sound asked me to participate in a then-monthly, now-defunct feature where writers contributed personal essays inspired by the tracks of a classic rock album. It was a different album each month, and a different writer was assigned to each track. I wrote a […]
I threw up at a Tastee-Freez when I was 6 or so. My family would sometimes go there after Sunday night church. That’s right: On Sundays, there were services in the morning and in the evening, and we went to both, presumably because the internet hadn’t been invented yet and we were hard up for […]
Indirect Objects 