Silverware

The knife is the king, and the big fork is the queen. Each spouse has a sidekick—the spoon (a duke) for the king, the salad fork (a lady-in-waiting) for the queen. Those are the roles I assigned the flatware whenever I’d find myself at a restaurant as a child. I would put the royal quartet […]

Tide Pods

When my parents dropped me off at college, my mom gave me a laundry basket. Taped to the bottom were instructions, written in my mother’s perfect penmanship, for properly washing and drying clothes—tasks I had never attempted up to that point.  I no longer have the cheat sheet, but, as I recall, its author was […]

Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds

When I was a kid, my favorite breakfast cereal was Lucky Charms, a blend of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and Irish stereotypes.  The cereal’s corporate mascot is a leprechaun named Lucky. In 1980s TV commercials, cartoon children were always in pursuit of the small, green-suited figure so that they might capture his “magically delicious” marshmallow charms: […]