A catalog of the stuff in my apartment
Apparently, college students are no longer capable of reading books. I guess they watched too many TikTok videos or became too dependent on AI summaries, so now they’re morons. I read all about it in The Atlantic. A college professor I recently met more or less confirmed the declining literacy of today’s youth when I […]
When I was a kid, my family used “afghan” to refer to any knitted blanket on a couch. I’m not sure whether that’s the strict definition of the word, but that’s what it meant to us. My paternal grandmother said it with three syllables, affigan (rhymes with the last name of comedian Jim Gaffigan). That […]
I’ve been living in Cambridge, Massachusetts, for 5 years now. That’s as long as I was a resident of New York City, where I lived before moving here. I relocated with my husband, Frank, when he got a new job. I’ll admit the change required a period of adjustment. Our previous address was in Harlem, […]
There’s a certain kind of boring person I find admirable—the kind with the confidence and consistency of character to put an insipid personality on full display without worrying about what others think. Some might see a lack of self-awareness in such a person. I see courage. I was at a get-together once, for example, where […]
For Christmas, my mom gave me a new wheeled carry-on suitcase. She also ordered a personalized luggage tag engraved with my initials, ZKT. The tag I got, though, bears the letters LMA. I concluded that must mean the suitcase’s name is Louisa May Alcott, so that’s how I refer to her. I assume someone out […]
I lost a pair of prescription sunglasses when I was back home in Arkansas for Christmas. The last time I remember wearing them was when I paid a visit to my middle sister’s house. We went outside so she could show me a walking trail that her husband had recently cleared on their property, and […]
Paper money from the U.S. has such a distinctive smell I somehow know what it tastes like even though I have never, to my knowledge, had a dollar bill in my mouth. It’s an unmistakable odor combining mustiness, ink, and sweat. I’m sure the taste is salty and earthy yet also chemical. Is this grossing […]
Not long ago, I ran out of reading material during an out-of-town trip, so I dragged my husband, Frank, who was with me, inside the next bookstore we encountered. I asked him to pick out something for me, ‘cause I didn’t have access to my Books to Read lists and was therefore incapable of making […]
The most versatile thing in my home—aside from the sexual tastes of its inhabitants—is the kitchen stool I sometimes use as an end table, a TV dinner tray, a clothes drying rack, a stepladder, and even, on rare occasions, as a kitchen stool. The item dates to the year my husband, Frank, and I lived […]
When I look back on my experience as a moviegoer thus far in life, I feel like I’ve seen a bunch of films. But if that’s the case, then how come whenever a movie comes up in conversation, I haven’t seen it? Or, to put it another way, when exactly did everybody watch The Matrix, […]
Indirect Objects 