The front of the holiday card my husband, Frank, and I sent out this year features two photos of us: one taken on Thanksgiving at my mom’s house, the other in front of the Great Pyramid of Giza during our Egypt vacation.
On the other side of the card there’s a picture of our dog, Lucy, wearing a red party hat next to my annual light-verse abomination. As has become the custom, the words can be sung to the tune of a beloved Christmas carol.
Deck the halls! Turn up the heating! Fa la la la la la la la la Here’s another Christmas greeting Fa la la la la la blah blah blah Yay for snow and gay apparel! Fa la la la la la la la la Down with Hallmark! Let’s watch Meryl! Mamma Mamma Mamma Ma’Mia! As we face the year before us Fa la la la la la la la la Here’s a wish to end this chorus Fa la la la la la la la la May your joys outweigh your sorrows Fa la la la la la la la la May you see improved tomorrows Fa la la la la la la la la Big finish! Fa la la la la . . . la la . . . LA . . . LAAAAAAA!
I hope the people on our mailing list have a more favorable reaction to the text than Frank did. When he first read it, he was like, “I see.” Not a trace of enthusiasm detectable.
I think he would have preferred more references to current events and stuff that happened to us in 2022. But I couldn’t think of a rhyme connecting the midterm elections and our dog’s allergy diagnosis, so you get what you get.
They can’t all be the universally beloved 2020 card that recapped the pandemic year to the tune of “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing,” okay? I had a lot of time on my hands to work on that one.
Let’s all just be grateful that I didn’t attempt another round of holiday haiku, as on the 2018 card.
Speaking of things I wrote, I used 2021’s holiday card post as an excuse to gather my least objectionable bits of writing from the past year all in one place here at Indirect Objects. What say we do that again?
My Least Objectionable Bits of Writing from 2022
TRAVEL STORIES:
- a brief history of Guinness tourism in Dublin (published March 17)
- the tale of Nantucket’s decision to let all the island’s beaches go topless (published June 8)
- an itinerary for seeing Provincetown as a one-day side trip from Boston (published August 15)
- a case for the Florida city that defies Florida stereotypes (published August 23)
- a visit to the resuscitated Museum Of Bad Art (published September 12)
PLAYS:
Over the summer, two short scripts I wrote were staged:
- After the Tower, a riff on the Rapunzel fairy tale, was part of the New Works Festival at Crafton Hills College in Yucaipa, California.
- And The Grand Tour, about a tour guide on the verge of a nervous breakdown, won the “Judges’ Choice” award at A Play, a Pint & a Pie, a festival involving one-act comedies, beer, and lukewarm savory pies at Hopkinton Center for the Arts in the town where the Boston Marathon starts each year.
BLOG POSTS:
- Rick Steves’ Paris 2009 (posted April 25): on big trips, overplanning, and learning to embrace the fallibility of affable PBS hosts
- Horrible Underpants (posted July 14): on boxers, briefs, and boxer briefs
- Black-and-White Checked Scarf (posted October 14): on ancient Egypt, cultural appropriation, and gastrointestinal distress
Thanks for abiding my nonsense for another year. Happy holidays to you and yours. Let’s all have a great 2023.
Indirect Objects 