A catalog of the stuff in my apartment
Cooking is like Restoration comedy: not as fun as it sounds, full of tedious business, and very likely to involve a fruity fop swooning onto a fainting couch. In the case of food prep, the fruit liable to feel overwhelmed is me. The task I find especially tiresome is the chopping of vegetables. What a […]
My new rice cooker looks to me like it has a face saying BLEHHGH. The eyes are the appliance’s Cook and Warm lights; the mouth and tongue are the on switch and its casing. The face kind of reminds me of Alfred Jarry’s drawing of Père Ubu. My husband, Frank, however, thinks the rice cooker […]
I used to have a CD that had a whole bunch of old TV commercial jingles on it. I assume this compilation was put on the market in an attempt to capitalize on the nostalgia of baby boomers. Somebody gave me the CD as a gift when I was age 12 or so. I had […]
One football season many years ago, I decided to watch all the Chicago Bears games on TV. I had never really given the sport a chance before, even though I grew up where the Arkansas Razorbacks inspire a religious fervor rivaled only by, well, the locals’ religious fervor. I guess I wanted to see, at […]
My husband, Frank, and I just got back from our 2020 vacation. We didn’t take it till this year on account of the plague—even though the destination was Egypt, which can, per the Book of Exodus, withstand 9 out of 10 plagues thrown its way. We took a Nile River cruise from Aswan to Luxor, […]
When my husband, Frank, and I lived in New York City, there wasn’t room in our apartment for a dining table. As a matter of fact, there was barely room for our 15-pound dog. But moving to a bigger place here in Cambridge, Massachusetts, gave us an excuse to acquire more furniture to fill up […]
According to Bertrand Russell, “Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.” Ditto for men who like ultra-spicy food. They act like you’re supposed to be impressed when they order, say, the curry vindaloo at an Indian restaurant, and then they make a big show of not needing […]
I’ve started taking a vitamin B12 supplement. My doctor recommended it because I’m a vegetarian. Evidently, your body gets the vitamin, which helps make red blood cells and supports nervous system function (according to the Nature Made label), from animal products. So if you don’t eat those, you’re at risk, says WebMD, of growing weak […]
Do you find that you grow less lactose-tolerant as the years roll on? It seems astonishing to me that during my adolescence I would start the day with a large glass of milk accompanied by a milk-filled bowl of cereal and not need to spend all of first period doubled over in agony. The past […]
Instead of a collar, my dog, Lucy, wears a bra when she goes out for walks. I don’t consider this piece of equipment a harness because I think of a harness as having two straps—one around the chest and another around the torso with the front legs in between. For me, securing such a contraption […]
Indirect Objects 