A catalog of the stuff in my apartment
I majored in theater at Northwestern. At the time, I figured that made sense given my interests, which included Sondheim and homosexuality. Technically, I majored in theatre since that’s how the word is spelled in the name of the university’s department overseeing skits and dance belts. But I prefer theater because here in the United States, theatre feels […]
When I was a kid, my favorite breakfast cereal was Lucky Charms, a blend of sugar-coated oats, marshmallows, and Irish stereotypes. The cereal’s corporate mascot is a leprechaun named Lucky. In 1980s TV commercials, cartoon children were always in pursuit of the small, green-suited figure so that they might capture his “magically delicious” marshmallow charms: […]
Socks are the underwear of the feet, but without any of the sexy associations that come with being worn so close to your naughty bits. Not all underpants are alluring, of course, but along with granny panties and blousy boxers the category also encompasses G-strings and jockstraps. As for socks? I suppose some people might […]
My grandpa would remove his unwanted nose hairs by yanking them out with his fingers. I watched him do it once. We were in a car. He was in the driver’s seat, and my grandma was sitting next to him. I was in the back. We were stopped at a gas station, and while we […]
Ever since the coronavirus pandemic put us all on lockdown starting in the middle of March, I have occupied the oxymoronic position of shut-in travel writer. I’m paid to be an advocate, witness, and resource for exploring the world, yet I can’t leave my home. On an ineffectiveness scale of 0 to Susan Collins, I […]
Pablo Picasso’s 1934 painting Deux personnages (La Lecture) depicts two young women reading, sexily. The figure on the left is the painter’s lover and muse at the time, Marie-Thérèse Walter, whom he had met when she was 17 and he was 45 and married to somebody else. The other personnage in the picture is one of Marie-Thérèse’s […]
In order to stop the spread of the coronavirus, we’re supposed to wear masks in public now, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The agency announced this recommendation toward the end of last week. You can transmit the virus even when you’re not exhibiting symptoms, and wearing a mask will help […]
Our coffee maker is too small for the coronavirus pandemic. Like much of the rest of the world’s population, my husband, Frank, and I have been on lockdown for three weeks now, following orders to stay in our apartment as much as possible in order to stop the spread of COVID-19. We only go out […]
The foot of my bed is decorated with the Linström throw quilt from Louise Gray, a Minneapolis-based maker of contemporary blankets, bedding, and other accoutrements of coziness. The company’s website describes the Linström as an “interesting fusion of colors and forms” that “makes for a playful addition to any space.” I think it looks like […]
I started wearing glasses in sixth grade. That was almost 30 years ago. Think of it: three decades of seeing everything in a frame or seeing everything blurred. Those are my options. Of course, sometimes there isn’t an option at all, like when you’re swimming or making out with somebody. Glasses are a no go […]
Indirect Objects 