I’ve had my current cell phone ever since I had to replace the previous one because I dropped it into the ocean while trying to take a picture of a bear. This happened in British Columbia. I’m going to go ahead and assume bear encounters top the list of reasons cell phones get lost or damaged in Canada, right above maple syrup mishaps.
I was on a boat tour cruising along the coast of Northern Vancouver Island, and we came near this cliff where a bear was scooping up mussels and popping them into her mouth, shells and all, while two cubs sat back from the water and waited, adorably. Having gone out on the deck to get a better look, I raised my phone to snap a photo of the scene, fumbled the device, and plop it went into Thompson Sound.
Nobody else on the vessel even knew it happened at first because the guide had told us all to keep quiet to avoid disturbing the bears, so when I dropped the phone I refrained from shrieking and instead just very softly went, “Ope!”
And that was the only Thompson sound to mark the tragedy on Thompson Sound.
At least I knew for sure it was time to get a new cell phone. Unless the device sinks into the sea, I have trouble determining when to upgrade.
Since I don’t care much about gizmos, I prefer to put off buying a new cell phone for as long as possible. Provided the one I have semi-works, it’s fine by me.
But after a few seasons—too few, if you ask me—the thing starts to develop problems, and I have to begin having those delicate end-of-life conversations about how the phone is running a lot slower than it used to and can’t seem to recharge and, after all, belongs to a relatively old-timey generation of technology (iPhone X, in this case).
I just don’t want to pull the (USB) plug too early because then I’ll have to purchase and set up an all-new device and, let’s be honest, I’m running a lot slower than I used to and can’t seem to recharge and, after all, belong to a relatively old-timey generation (X, in my case).
The problem I’m currently having with my nearly 5-year-old cell phone has to do with recharging the battery. When I plug the device into a power outlet, the phone’s display doesn’t always show the little lightning bolt in the upper right corner that indicates recharging is taking place.
For some reason, my phone will only recharge properly when connected to certain outlets in my apartment, and only with one charger—the one with the unnecessarily long cord that I don’t think even came from Apple.
I am willing to meet my phone’s newfound demands, chalking them up to the irksome yet mostly harmless obstinacy of old age. However, keeping the one usable charger on a short leash has proven difficult, in spite of the overlong cord.
My spouse has no qualms about swiping the charger for his own use, even though he has a much newer device that will still submit to any ol’ prong you stick into it. He could at least give the magic charger back when finished, but no, I have to ransack our home every time I want to restore life to my device.
So I figure one of them, either my phone or my spouse, has got to go.
Indirect Objects 